Email:neill@outloudculture.com
Socials: @neill_frazer
Part memoir, part guidebook, Confused Girl empowers women of all ages to chart a positive course through a rapidly changing world. Author and businesswomen Giovanna Silvestre, praised by Forbes and NBC, shares her transformative journey from an ego-driven, early Hollywood career to finding true self-acceptance and inner peace. Through raw and honest storytelling, she opens up about her struggles with identity and purpose, including a challenging period of depression in her late twenties (which she refers to as the “Dark Night of My LA Soul”) that ultimately led to her awakening.
Giovanna Silvestre is the creator of Confused Girl in the City, an international activewear brand inspired by unique healing crystals, blending beauty and spirituality. Featured on NBC and in Forbes and LA Yoga, she’s a graduate of the University of Southern California. Transitioning from the entertainment industry, Giovanna embarked on a journey of self-discovery, emerging as a leading lifestyle and wellness influencer, entrepreneur, and writer. Follow her on Instagram @ConfusedGirlLA and subscribe at www.confusedgirlinthecity.com.
Giovanna welcome to OLC! Your new book ‘Confused Girl’ is both a memoir and a guidebook—what inspired you to blend your personal journey with self-help advice?
Thank you so much for having me! You know, when I think about my book, “Confused Girl: Find Your Peace in the Chaos,” it really feels like an organic blend of my experiences and the self-help path I’ve been on. It’s not so much that I set out to create a memoir and a guidebook; rather, self-help has woven itself into the very fabric of my life.
A little over a decade ago, I went through a pretty tough time with depression, and it was really the desire to feel better—both in my own skin and about my life—that propelled me forward. I was searching for my purpose and trying to figure out how to truly live it. That process of self-discovery and healing is deeply intertwined with who I am today.
So for me, self-help isn’t a separate entity; it’s an integral part of my identity. It’s like a conversation I’ve been having with myself all along, and I wanted to share that with others who might be feeling lost or overwhelmed. I hope my story and insights can help them find their own peace amidst the chaos.
You describe going through a “Dark Night of My LA Soul.” Can you share what that period was like and what ultimately helped you move forward?
Absolutely, that period of my life was incredibly challenging, and I often describe it as going through a dark night of my LA soul. I felt trapped, like I was in a mental prison. My thoughts spiraled obsessively, playing on repeat all my perceived shortcomings and feelings of unworthiness. It was as if I’d lost control over my own mind, and I couldn’t change the record that just kept playing those negative thoughts.
At one point, I remember thinking that I’d rather be in a physical prison and mentally free than be physically free yet trapped in this mental anguish. That realization was a turning point for me. I knew I had to make a massive change because living like that was simply too painful.
My intention became crystal clear: I wanted to feel better about myself and my life, but I understood that I needed to do this without relying on external validation. I had previously thought that a new boyfriend, a better job, or even material things like a new car or more money would bring me happiness. But I realized that those external factors didn’t provide lasting contentment.
So, I embarked on a quest to figure out how to cultivate a sense of peace and worthiness from within. It was that deep desire to change my internal narrative that ultimately propelled me forward.
Your book encourages women to embrace uncertainty. What’s the biggest misconception people have about feeling lost in life?
Great question! I think one of the biggest misconceptions people have about feeling lost in life is the sense of shame that often accompanies it. I used to feel this way, too. When we’re confused or uncertain, there’s this underlying belief that we should have it all figured out, that we should know better or be better. But the truth is, no one comes into this world with a manual for navigating their life.
I realized during my own difficult times that rejecting those feelings of confusion and being lost wasn’t helpful at all. In fact, it was quite the opposite; it was counterproductive. Embracing those feelings turned out to be a much wiser approach. If I hadn’t allowed myself to feel lost, I wouldn’t have embarked on the healing path that ultimately led me to write this book, travel the world alone, and explore so many incredible experiences.
Now, I truly believe that confusion is a virtue. It’s a catalyst for growth. It prompts you to ask the important questions that can guide you to the next step. Confusion is like fuel for your self-discovery journey; it propels you forward and opens up a world of infinite possibilities.
One of the key takeaways from Confused Girl is that “destiny is a moving target.” How did you come to that realization, and how can others embrace change more fearlessly?
You know, a dear friend once told me that I’ve become quite adept at following the breadcrumbs that the universe leaves for me, and I believe that’s true. I used to be more of a controlling person, but after hitting a brick wall in my life, I realized that I can’t control everything. It’s not about trying to manage every detail; it’s about becoming a better version of yourself and listening to your instincts and the universe.
As I began to figure out who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do on this planet, I noticed that my vision shifted along the way. For instance, when I started my yoga wear line, I envisioned opening stores and having a big office in LA with lots of employees. But as I grew, I realized I wanted more freedom to travel and make my business mobile. That change in perspective gave me the freedom to write a book while living abroad, which became another beautiful stepping stone in my life.
There’s a quote that resonates with me: “It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time” —Winston Churchill. I find that so insightful because it emphasizes the beauty of how everything connects over time. Each experience has flowed into the next, and looking back, I can see how each phase of my life has contributed to where I am now.
So, I believe it’s crucial to keep checking in with yourself, to explore your desires, and to be open to change. Part of life is trying new things and discovering what doesn’t work for you. It’s perfectly okay to realize that something you thought would be a good fit isn’t, and then pivot to what feels right. The key is to keep moving forward with curiosity and an open heart.
Many women struggle with self-doubt, especially when making big life changes. What are some first steps to building true self-trust?
When I came out of my depression and started to feel better about myself, I still found myself confused about who I was and what my purpose was. I was on a quest to discover what would truly make me happy. So, I decided to embark on an adventure to explore my interests and preferences.
One of the first things I did was start a video blog on YouTube over a decade ago. I committed to trying one new thing every week. I remember saying in my first episode, “I hope that by doing enough things that don’t lead anywhere, it will eventually lead me somewhere.” I went bungee jumping, salsa dancing, and even started solo traveling. It was such a beautiful experience that really opened my eyes.
Through this process, I learned so much about myself. When you push yourself outside of your comfort zone and try new things, you begin to build confidence and, more importantly, trust in yourself. You realize that you can handle different situations and experiences. As you discover what you enjoy and what doesn’t resonate with you, you deepen your understanding of yourself.
Each small step helps you feel more secure in who you are. It’s all about taking those initial steps to explore and learn. The more you engage with the world around you, the more you build that true self-trust and confidence. It’s a beautiful transformation that leads you to a more authentic version of yourself.
You’ve successfully transitioned from the entertainment industry to becoming an entrepreneur and influencer. What was the biggest challenge in that shift, and what advice would you give to others seeking a similar reinvention?
The biggest challenge in transitioning from the entertainment industry to becoming an entrepreneur and influencer was grappling with the guilt of leaving behind something I had invested so much in—blood, sweat, and tears. I had built a lot of contacts and achieved a fair amount of success, so stepping away felt like I was wasting time and effort. That guilt really weighed heavily on me and made me question my choices, which was overwhelming.
The reality was that I was not enjoying my work in the entertainment industry. While there were certain aspects I liked, most of it felt like a daily struggle. I would push myself to get out of bed and go to work, and I often thought, “Am I going to have to drag myself through this again?”
What I eventually realized is that nothing you try in life is ever a waste or a failure. I don’t believe in failure in the traditional sense. Sometimes things simply don’t meet your expectations, and you may need to change direction. But every experience adds to your life lessons and wisdom. Looking back, I’m incredibly grateful for my time in the entertainment industry; it was like the school of hard knocks, teaching me invaluable lessons that have shaped what I do now.
I encourage others to adopt a similar mindset. When you find something that truly inspires you, it lights your soul on fire. Yes, there will be days when you feel tired or unmotivated, but you won’t be dreading each day. I genuinely enjoy most of what I do now, and I’m filled with gratitude and fulfillment.
So, if you’re considering a similar transition, remember that every step along the way contributes to your growth. Trust that you can find something that resonates with you, and don’t be afraid to take that leap!
Your book emphasizes self-acceptance over perfection. How do you personally practice self-compassion, especially in the age of social media?
Practicing self-compassion is crucial, especially in today’s social media landscape. I check in with myself daily, and if I’m feeling down, I treat myself to activities that lift my spirits, like yoga or walks by the beach. I also allow myself to take a day off when needed, whether it’s for a massage or enjoying a comforting meal.
I’m very aware that much of what I see online is not the full story. We often compare our behind-the-scenes with someone else’s highlight reel, but I recognize that it’s an illusion. People may present a perfect picture while struggling with their own challenges. I no longer buy into that, and I think we’re all becoming more aware of it.
Talking with close friends about my feelings helps me process emotions, and journaling is another effective way to work through what I’m experiencing. When I catch myself comparing, I take a step back from social media if needed. Ultimately, it’s about being mindful of our mental health and prioritizing self-care.
The “Confused Girl Recaps” in your book break down key lessons for self-discovery. Which of these lessons do you find yourself returning to the most in your own life?
One of the key “Confused Girl Recaps” I return to most recently is in Chapter 6, “Destiny is a Moving Target.” I love the concept of walking a labyrinth as a metaphor for our experiences. Just like in life, you can’t always go straight to the center; sometimes you zigzag, go backward, or feel lost. This reflects the unpredictability of our paths.
I also emphasize tuning into your intuition and trusting those gut feelings. Our inner guidance can lead us to infinite possibilities and adventures. Keeping a dream journal, spending time in nature, and meditating are practices I find incredibly valuable. They help me connect with myself and allow my body to guide me.
Lastly, I believe women possess a heightened sense of intuition, so it’s essential to trust that inner voice. These lessons remind me that self-discovery is not a linear process, and being open to various experiences is key to navigating life with confidence.
You’ve built a successful brand with Confused Girl in the City. How has your experience as a business owner influenced your perspective on personal growth?
Building the Confused Girl in the City brand has profoundly influenced my perspective on personal growth. As a business owner, I’ve learned that growth often comes from stepping outside of my comfort zone. Each challenge I face, whether it’s marketing, connecting with my audience, or managing operations, pushes me to adapt and develop new skills.
I’ve also realized that personal growth is a continual process, much like running a business. There are ups and downs, and not every decision leads to immediate success. This has taught me the importance of resilience and the value of learning from setbacks. I’ve become more open to feedback and willing to pivot when necessary, which has enhanced my ability to grow both personally and professionally.
Moreover, interacting with my audience has deepened my understanding of the various struggles people face. Hearing their stories has reinforced the idea that we’re all in this together, and it has inspired me to cultivate a sense of community around the brand. Ultimately, my experiences as a business owner have shown me that personal growth is not just about individual achievements but also about building connections and supporting one another along the way.
If readers take away just one lesson from Confused Girl, what do you hope it is?
If readers take away just one lesson from Confused Girl, I hope it’s that confusion is a virtue. Rather than feeling ashamed or anxious about not having all the answers, I encourage them to welcome confusion as an opportunity for discovery. Viewing life as an adventure allows you to approach challenges with curiosity, much like a scientist on a quest for knowledge.
The truth is, we will always encounter confusion in various aspects of our lives. As we learn and grow, new uncertainties arise. There’s no need to feel overwhelmed or aimlessly seek guidance from others. By looking inward and trusting yourself, you can navigate life’s complexities with confidence and grace.
Pre-order CONFUSED GIRL by GiovannaSilvestre:
Amazon | Apple Books | Barnes & Noble | Bookshop.org
Follow Giovanna Silvestre:
